Streets of Old Laredo 6: Epilogue
February 21, 2007
(I won’t lie to ya’ folks: I thought Ol’ Tex and Seamus lucks had run out at the hands of hanging judge. I was pole axed as any man when Bowlegweemiss burst in an unstrangulated em’; and more confounded when they rode off on his back. I ain’t no Equeirian but seemed awful strange a horse, ‘specily one so proud as Bow, would forget a grudge all a’ sudden like. Several hours into the rescue Seamus weren’t no more consensified than us.)
Streets of Old Laredo 5: The Conclusionation
January 5, 2007
(Well, I’m sad to mention when we last we saw ‘em Tex and Seamus had been brought about as low as feller can get, brought. Seems all his skills at horse fightin’, wife stealin’, and trash talkin’, translated remarkable poor towards litigatin’. As such him, and Seamus by proxy, were found guilty and sentenced to hang in record time. I won’t bother to recount the sad night they spent in lock up, all Seamus’s blubbering was fit to turn your stomach, so we’ll just start right up at the morning of their hanging when the fellers were walking up to the gallows)
They had ol’ tex shackled down heavy enough they had pull to him in a cart; Seamus was tied up with bailing twine and mornin’ dew, and he still screamed fit to beat Jesus.
“Oh I knewed we shouldn’ta fought that horse. Magic horse’s is bad mojo somethin’ fierce.”
Tex spewed a well aimed loogie through two links and drawled laconically as his well chain torso would allow “I imagine this hangings more due to us burning down the governors house up in Freemont.” Tex pondered a moment “Or, speaking cursewise, could’a been them twenty gypsies we robbed, then forced to stage a song and dance play bout how we just robbed em’”.
Streets of Old Laredo: Episode 4 – The aforementioned Hanging Judge
November 6, 2006
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Well, when we last left Tex, Seamus (and for reason I don’t entirely recall some preacher) were trussed up and dragged down to the courthouse, to stand before the one and only Hiram T. Pinchbach, “The Hanging Judge”. Start at the beginning.
The judge called the court to order with one stern glare, then set his awful eye on Tex and Seamus. “Am I to understand, Mr. Barstow, that you will be providing your own legal representation?” said the judge, in his low judgely growl. Read the rest of this entry »
Streets of Old Laredo: Episode 3 – The Hanging Judge
October 26, 2006
(Well, last we left ‘em, Tex and ‘ol Seamus were celebrating Tex’s prevalence over the most Provacating of Equines , Bowlegweemiss, when a whole mess of big city lawmen done rode up on them. Or you could start at the beginning.)
The rangy marshal rode forward a little. “M. Barstow, you wanted in Carson City for more crimes than I care to mention.”
“My name’s Tex,” said M. Barstow indignantly.
“Your name’s ‘bullet-riddled corpse’ if’n you don’t shut your mouth and keep your hands up,” replied the marshal, emphasizing his point with his well used rifle.
Now Tex weren’t the sort to let any man speak at him such, but he weren’t no fool neither, so kept up his hands and said real casual like, “Sorry fellers, if’n you’re here for the horse fight your plum outta luck.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Streets of Old Laredo: Episode 1 – Enter Bowlegweemiss
October 9, 2006
The sun come up on the streets of Old Laredo to find two snake-bit, third rate, side-winding, desperados discussing some fearsome feuding to come.
“I never met the horse I couldn’t wrestle to the ground and teach to whistle,” said Tex, spitting a contemptuous blob of tobacco.
Old Seamus looked up half-ways from his groveled crouch. “I don’t know Tex, this horse ain’t like the others. I seen him reading a magazine the other day. I think he’s got you scouted.”
Tex reeled off a edifying backhand, then smiled with broken toothed nonchalance. “Shit Seamus, I done fought smarter critters than that. There was this one badger what had done his Doctoral Thesis. I mean he hadn’t defended it yet, but I suspect he would have passed… If’n I hadn’t staved in his skull with ma’h boot heel. Heeeyaheeeyaheeeaya.” Read the rest of this entry »
The Street of Old Laredo: Episode 2 – We’s a Fight’n
October 4, 2006
(Click here for Episode 1: Enter Bowlegweemis)
(When we last left our tale of dirty side-winding Tex and Bowlegweemis were getting ready to tangle.)
“Oh you can dance, you can surely dance, but dancing won’t fight me down.”
And surely that horse could dance, all hip swiveling lightness and stutter step staccato; he shimmed a pace then snapped out a couple viperous jabs. Tex slipped the first but the second caught him square in the mouth. Spitting blood and curses the lanky outlaw skipped back a respectful yard. Seeing no opening he tried a little Man Talk to throw Bow off his game.
