I stand before you as a man of uncertain prospects and questionble past; laid low by circumstance and a crippling fear of heights. In one hand I clutch dreams of a better future; in the other I hold the last Letter Day you will ever get…today.
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I couldn’t help but notice Beats Entropy seems to have a disproportionate amount of female fans. Your content is fairly gender neutral…maybe a slight skewing toward male given all the belligerent arrogance and superhero stuff Valliant talks about…so what’s the deal? Why you got so many lady fans?
Tommy Vargas
Oxnard, CA
Letter Day 13: The Umbrage of Saint Germaine
March 26, 2007
I woke up this morning in dumpster full of stained glass and renaissance etchings. My mouth tasted of Mercury, Gin, and what I hope was my own blood. Best case scenario: I was up all night robbing art museums. Worst case scenario: I finally got that time couch working and went back to settle some scores in old Venice. Either way I’m feeling a little out of sorts and running dangerously low on Papal indulgences… thus I need a letter day cleansing. Hit it two times, letter man.
Letter Day: 17, Beats working for a living
February 26, 2007
I’m halfway through Monday and it’s already been a long week, so you’ll have to excuse if Letter Day has an edge you could shave with. Roll sound.
Letter 1
One can infer from your stories that you work in an office building? Is this true?What would you ideally do for a living if given a choice.
Jerry Contrail, Moline, Il.
Letter Day: Because we can’t, and we won’t, and we don’t stop.
February 12, 2007
Once again the incredible, rhyme animal, V, public AJ number one. Can I tell ‘em that I really never had a gun? I’m packing letter day just like It’s always been done.
It’s been while folks; I blame a soft real estate market and the pressures of the modern world. Also there was a postal strike in my neck of the woods so the usual bounty of lettery goodness was denied me…and by proxy you. Lets get down to business.
Letter 1
My boyfriends idea of romance is taking me to a steak house, then professional lacrosse game. This sucks. You seem romantic, what are doing for Valentines day?
Erica
Letter Day: I can’t keep track of these things
January 16, 2007
Twenty apes besieged that gates, and each a hewn stone tossed
“It’s letter day” I heard them say, “produce or all is lost”.
I know it’s Tuesday folks, but I don’t fuck around with rhyming apes. Lets get down to business.
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How tolerant are you guys of homosexuality?
Jerry Davis, Mi
Letter Day Something or Other: “I thought you was dead?”
January 2, 2007
Christ and Bolivia my children’s, I’ve unearthed myself from my Christmas hole and returned to my rightful post as Beats Entropy raconteur. Before we get down to business I would like to address a few rumours that surfaced in my absence.
(1) I heard AJ ran out of ideas so he sold out, got a drivers licence, stopped keeping his clean clothes in a giant sack, and started a new life as a high school shop teacher.
Let me tell you something: I may some day get my drivers license, and I might sell out were I ever to be doing something that you could actually sell out from, but I will never stop keeping my clean clothes in a sack! Also I have no plans to stop my cat from sleeping in my clean clothes sack.
(2) I hear AJ hates Christmas so much he hung himself in a strip club bathroom and when they found him the corpse was still crying.
Now this one is a half truth at best. While I did hang myself a little, it was in the orchestra pit of an adult puppet show, and purely for auto erotic purposes. Also I was weeping for the fragile beauty of sensual marionettes in delecto flagrante.
(3) AJ killed a hundred horses on New Years eve to enhance his already fearsome manitude.
This one was true.
Now, like a shivering five year old left for days in alley while mommy gets her medicine, I give you the long overdue Letter Day. Let’s get down to business.
Mail Bag Day – The Return
December 4, 2006
Some Blogs pride themselves on timely content updates, dedicated contributors, and some degree of continuity in their posts. Obviously, we here a Beats Entropy admire those qualities, however, none of us possess the requisite skills, morals, or gumption to act on these points.
Heck, most of us consider it a good day with we overcome our lethargy enough to put trousers on before we go to work.
That having been said, it has come to our attention that Dr. Entropic has dropped the ball on letter day, and despite the almost non-existent hierarchical structure that exists here at BE, the rest of us have unanimously voted to take over Letter Day until Dr. Entropic gets a handle on his little ‘problem.’
So, without further ado, we bring you the return of letter day.
letter day 8: Oucho Grande
October 30, 2006
I haven’t slept proper since my cat was small; I think I shan’t sleep for the rest of the fall. Despite this, or perhaps because of it, I present you with the most magnifent of wild internet beasts: Letter Day.
Let’s get it on.
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Letter 1: Popularity
Your site must be incredibly popular; how do you guys divvy up the riches?
Sal Pemberton, Gallotown NY
Letter Day 7: Beats working for a living
October 23, 2006
Lets make each other a promise, that this year… this year will be the best Letter Day ever! Dr. Entropic is battling illiteracy today, so I will be handling the answering duties. Lets get it ON!
Hey, isn’t it irresponsible to have a live Sasquatch working in the mail room?
I mean couldn’t he just start attacking people?
Mungrove Charmander
Letter Day 6: Better Late Than Never
October 18, 2006
While I don’t usually talk about the intimate details of my personal life on Beats Entropy, I feel the need to explain why Letter Day is so late. Due to a situation I cannot discuss in detail, I have been charged with the murder of my Uncle Theo. Hopefully once all the facts come out this situation will resolve it’s self, until then it’s back to business as usually and lettery goodness.
Letter Day: Five for fighting
October 2, 2006
Great minds will rise and fall but the tide of letters never cease. Withhold your madness oh Zeus, I shall do you postal bidding: It’s letter Day, and I bring Letters. Dr. Entropic has contracted Cirrhotic Hepatitis due his reckless sex with hobos, so I will be handling the letter page today.
What hockey teams do you guys cheer for? Leafs #1
As statistically improbably as it is, I’m pretty much the only serious sports fan here at Beats Entropy. While my coconspirators are bright, fun, cool as hell guys, they are not the most stereotypically macho types. I cheer, and have always cheered for, my beloved home town Ottawa Senators. Though they have broken my heart many times in the playoffs, I love them like a charismatic fuck up, substance addicted, younger brother; who’s life falls apart every 6-8 months.
I would cheer for the Leafs, but I have it on good authority that every player, coach, and fan of that team, are child murderers: in that they constantly murder children…toddlers mostly. While I can appreciate the tradition and hustle of their organization, I cannot advocate the murder of young children, nor those who engage in it.
Letter Day: Quatro Nuevo
September 26, 2006
Since Valliant has to work for living again the letter writing duties have been turned over to their rightful owner. Since things were delayed let get right down to business.
Letter #1: Ice Cube
Hey Doc, I had a dream I was an ice cube. My friend was compacting spices into
me and then sending ice-cube-me to himself across the world and back
through a tube. He then melted me to extract the spices.
I dreamt last light I was Captain Marvel (the Shazam guy) but also hosting a variety television show out of my high school gym to pickup some extra credits. The whole time I was trying to battle the evil Black Adam, while attempting to convince these kids to role-play with me. At the end of the dream a friend of mine had to leave so I gave him three restaurant receipts so he could get powers if he needed them.
Read the rest of this entry »
Letter Day: Triumvirate
September 18, 2006
As a young boy I dreamt that everyday could be Letter day; my father called me a fool and said such a thing could never be. Today, today is letter day, and I am redeemed. A little. Let’s get down to business.
Letter 1
Dear Doctor, When I do yoga, I fart alot but my farts don`t smell, what`s up with that?
Danger Mouse
Again I have to stress that I am not a medical Doctor, that said I think I can help you out here. That “fart”, is not a gastrointestinal by-product: your body is actually expelling the excess amounts of trendy self righteousness, and hippie sanctimony, that is generated while practicing yoga. Though irritating there no real damage caused. You are fortunate that it was not a Kundalini yoga session, where the pretentious faux spiritual vapours can reach sufficient concentration to permanently damage ones ability to engage in critical thinking.
Letter Day: The Sequel
September 11, 2006
Oh you thought we was joking, but we spit nothing but TRUTH. It’s letter day Mark II, get ready for some edification. Dr. Entropy is sick this week so I will be handling the letter answering duties again.We will start things off with a hold over letter from last week.
Hey Valiant,
Way to sit around all day watching cartoons and getting angry like a little bitch. You don’t even watch new cartoons, I can picture you with a stack of beta cassettes and bowl of cheesies getting fatter and fatter, angry at the world since they cancelled transformers. Real shit is going on, why don’t you get angry and confused about the all Arabs blowing shit up instead? Dirty Julio Shamtiwise
Letter Day!
September 5, 2006
Ladies and gentleman, I’m going to have to ask you to return to seats and insure your chin straps are buckled in a secure fashion, It’s Letter Day. That’s right folks, since you were kind enough to write in, we are dedicating a whole day to responding to your electronic correspondence. Don’t say I never did anything for you… because I did…just now. In the future Dr. Entropy will be handling Letter Day, but since this is the inaugural edition I figured I would avoid delegating. Enough chit chat, on to the letters.
