Beats Entropy

(Continued in Part 2 and Part 3)

Danny stood in front of the bathroom mirror poking at the bleeding hole his ear used to cover. It had been his least favorite ear, but nostalgia had him remembering otherwise. He opened his first aid kit: it contained one band aid, three Flintstone vitamins, and a drawing of him falling the down the stairs surrounded by the prohibitive circle with a diagonal line. He retrieved a cotton ball from the bottom of the drawer, soaked it in cool-mint Listerine, and applied it to the side of his head. The pain was intense, if refreshing. Danny’s severed ear lay on kitchen counter, packed, by the Hedgehog, into a ziplock bag full of ice. The Panda had donned a stewpot helmet and was keeping watch over the backdoor.

“I think I need to go to the hospital” said Danny, directing the complaint to the Hedgehog sitting on the toilet across from him.

“Yeah, sure thing, Kid; but first lets all sit down and get our stories straight. You walk into that emergency room talking nonsense and you’ll spend the next month playing Thorazine bingo on a locked ward” said the Hedgehog.

The Hedgehog hopped to the ground and led Danny into the living room. Danny grabbed his ear bag and moved towards his favorite arm chair; the Hedgehog nodded at the Panda who raced across the room to dive into the seat just before Danny got there.

“What the hell, Panda? You took my chair” said Danny.

“Whoa, settle down Rosa Parks…there’s plenty more furniture. Eustace needs to decompress and collect his thoughts. It’s been a rough day and he comes from a very gentle people” said the Hedgehog.

The Panda nodded sadly in agreeance, stoking his eye spots sadly before falling abruptly into an exaggerated and patently false  slumber. Danny was too sore and tired to press the issue further. Careful to keep his wound clear of the ratty fabric Danny lay back on the couch, trying to fathom the surreal disintegration of his life. The Hedgehog climbed up onto the arm behind Danny, strips of clean T-shirt in hand, to better examine the wound.

“Close your eyes, Kid. I need to throw a bandage over that so it doesn’t rot through to the other side”.

Danny closed his eyes tightly, clenching his jaw against the expected pain. The Hedgehog looped the ends of the bandage around each hand, braced himself against the couch edge, and pulled the makeshift garrote tightly around Danny’s neck.

“Now Eustace” screamed the Hedgehog.

The Panda surged up from the armchair, took one great bounding step, then belly flopped hard onto Danny chest, driving the breath from his body and trapping his limbs beneath the Panda’s girth. Danny levered a knee into Eustace’s gut; the Panda retaliated with the sort of clinging blustery fart only lifelong vegetarians can produce. The Hedgehog gagged and released the bandage from Danny’s neck.

“Jesus Eustace…I said hold him, not execute the lot of us.”

The Panda shamefully, and perhaps strategically, buried his face between the couch cushions; Danny attempted to maneuver his head close enough to bite the traitorous hedgehog.

“Easy Chopper, this is necessary shit and will hurt a lot less if you quit fucking squirming”.

The Hedgehog pulled out one of his sharper quills, secured a length of thread to it, then opened the ziplock bag to retrieve Danny’s ear. As Danny watched the Hedgehogs preparations a deep disquiet grew within him.

“What the hell are you doing” said Danny.

“You can’t go to the hospital: there will be too many questions; and I already told you we got company on the way. It’s not the sort appointment you can blow off” said the Hedgehog.

“I’m not going to let some talking rat sew my fucking ear on! You don’t know what you’re doing” said Danny.

“I fixed your shirts, didn’t I…this is basically the same thing” said the Hedgehog, laughing halfway through his own comparison.

Danny struggled hard against the Panda’s weight: the Hedgehog was right, the squirming did make it hurt a lot more.

Continued in Chapter 3: Part 2

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(See :Chapter 2 PART 1 and PART 2 and PART 3 and PART  4 and PART  5 and PART 6 for the chapter before this one)

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See chapter 1 for the beginning of the story:  PART 1 and  PART 2 and PART 3 and PART 4 and PART 5