Bristles; Chapter 2: Part 6
June 18, 2009
(See :Chapter 2 PART 1 and PART 2 and PART 3 and PART 4 and PART 5 for start of this chapter)
The Hedgehog bounced on the balls of his feet, weaving patterns of distraction along his quills. The Terrier advanced, implacable, his distended jaw pugged out like some horrid cockney boxer. Danny considered helping but he was unsure who he wanted to lose. Steak knives flashed and clattered too fast to track; wads of fur and quill and flesh spun out from the foul mouthed dervish whirling across the bathroom floor.
“I’ll tear you up like crotchless panties at a frat party, you Yorkie piece of shit”
“You’re getting gutter-fucked, Hedgehog….slow and sloppy”
The Terrier parried a low strike and pinned the blade to the floor; lunging forward he sunk his prenaturally large maw into the Hedgehogs chest, ripping out a palm sized chunk of meat. The Hedgehog crashed his shoulder into the Terriers torso, driving him back into the base of the tub, sending a cascade of hair care products down onto them. The terrier whistled a high slash just over Bristles head. The Hedgehog ducked low, then stomped hard on the shampoo bottle at his feet, launching a glob directly into the Terrier’s squinty little eyes.
The Terrier shrieked in pain.
“Ahhh…what is in that, Jojoba?”
“I have scalp dryness” Danny whispered, defensive despite his shock.
The Hedgehog seized the moment, plunging his steak knife hilt deep through the terrier’s heart.
“Danny, I hear voices. What is going on in there?” demanded Beth, who had moved to stand just outside the bathroom door.
“I’m going to need a minute here, Beth” said Danny, who was prying open the dead dogs mouth so he could retrieve his ear from its throat.
“Is Coco o.k.?” asked Beth.
“Uh…he’s been better” said Danny.
The ear was intact, if bloody and distinctly not attached to his head. Danny pressed the ragged edge against the tatters surrounding his bleeding ear hole, praying for some Mr. Potatohead-esque miracle. None was forthcoming. Understandably he failed to hear the butter knife click open the bathroom lock.
“Jesus Christ, Danny!” shrieked Beth.
Danny whirled in panic; his mangled ear wobbling out of his slack grip towards Beth’s horrified face. She slapped it from the air like a particularly loathsome June-bug and staggered backwards out of the bathroom.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Beth…things could have gone better” said Danny.
Beth’s eyes froze on the lapdog speared to the ground by dollar-store cutlery. It occurred to Danny they couldn’t have gone much worse. The hedgehog played dead by the vanity.
“Oh my god, Coco.”
Danny stepped forward and closed the bathroom door behind him. He was at a loss for sufficient explanation. Beth stood there for a while, stunned, crying, shaking; then ran from the apartment. Danny punched a hole in bathroom door. The vague promise of breakup sex had been transmuted into impending dread of prison rape, in record time. The law was unkind to dog killers. Danny sat and collected his thoughts.
The wounded Hedgehog dragged the food processor into the bathroom from the kitchen and began feeding pieces of the dismembered dog into it. He flushed each thoroughly pulped load down the toilet.
“Get the mop, kid. We’re going to have company soon and I don’t want this place looking like a Korean BBQ joint”.
Danny got the mop. What else could he do?
End of Chapter 2. Series concluded in Chapter 3.
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See chapter 1 for the beginning of the story: PART 1 and PART 2 and PART 3 and PART 4 and PART 5
