Beats Entropy

(See :Chapter 2 PART 1 and PART 2 and PART 3 and PART  4 for start of  this chapter Continued in Part 6)

Danny reacted to the yelp like a shot from a starter’s pistol: exploding into a full run he stiff-armed Beth into the couch and pulled down a bookcase behind him to ensure he’d reach the kitchen first. He turned the corner in time to see the Hedgehog pulling a bloody lump three times his size into the bathroom. Danny grabbed the roll of paper towels and frantically began mopping the long smear of crimson off the floor. There was a crash from the hallway

“What the fuck, Danny!” yelled Beth, disentangling herself from a newly purchased Ikea book shelf.

Danny threw the sodden towels into the trash, then smashed the kitchen light fixture with a frying pan.

“Sorry Beth…I thought I heard the phone…only it was actually a huge rat…that I just locked in the bathroom”.

Beth moved into the dim kitchen rubbing a raw spot on her elbow.

“Where’s Coco? Is he in here?”

Danny tried to hold the frying pan in a casual fashion. Flecks of glass dusted his hair.

“Not that I can tell. Maybe it chased the huge rat into the bathroom. I’ll go check. Wait here” said Danny.

Concern for her dog and fear of a rat large enough to trash a kitchen warred on Beth’s face; she stepped back into the hallway. Danny opened the bathroom door just wide enough to slip in, his frying pan raised, honestly intending to smash the first rodent he saw. He closed and locked the door behind him. The Hedgehog was standing on the edge of the tub, knife in hand: the tub contained a small brown dog with multiple stab wounds, wrapped in a blood soaked tea towel, a knife lying beside it. The Hedgehog raised its small paws defensively.

“I realize this looks bad”.

The frying pan smashed down with force directly where the nimble Hedgehog had been standing a moment before.

“You Rat motherfucker psycho piece of shit….why are you fucking with me” Danny screamed.

“Get him Danny” Beth shouted encouragingly from the hallway.

The Hedgehog took cover behind the toilet.

“What is your fucking problem? Why are doing this to me?” Danny asked.

“I swear on my quills….this is not what it looks like. The little shit pulled a knife…it was a hit, I had to no choice but to defend myself” said the Hedgehog.

Danny slumped back against the wall. He pitched his voice lower.

“Come on man, I’m not stupid. I’ve known that dog for five years, he’s not the type to pull a…I can’t believe I’m even discussing this.” Dejected, Danny let himself slip to the bathroom floor.

“What am I supposed to do here?”

The Hedgehog crawled tentatively out from behind the toilet, placing his knife on the ground in front of him and kicking it towards Danny.

“I’m going to tell you exactly what happened, and if you don’t believe me…take that knife and stab me right in the ass. I won’t even fight you. Just hear me out”.

Danny bounced his head off the tile wall a couple of times. Gore surrounded him. He dearly wished he was small enough to shimmy out the bathroom window and start a new life across town. The enormity of the situation, and the implausibility of his escape, forced him to confront matters head on. Danny pushed himself to his feet, closed his eyes, felt around the tub, and retrieved the mangled dog by the scruff of its lacerated neck.

“This dog tried to stab you?” said Danny.

He shook the canine lump in the Hedgehogs face, turning up one little paw  to highlight the lack of capable digits.

“Did  kissing that bitches ass again make you go deaf ? He…pulled a knife….on me! That is not a normal dog” said the Hedgehog.

“Yeah… now that you stabbed fourteen fucking holes into him he’s not. I’d say he’s pretty fucking exceptional!” .

Danny jabbed a finger into one of the more garish chest wounds to illustrate his point; the dog snarled, turned its head a good half circle, and tore off Danny’s right ear. Danny shrieked like a woman and threw the surprisingly lively dog into the bathtub. The Hedgehog grabbed the knife off the floor and began tossing it from paw to paw.

“Oh you fucked up now, Benji; you  pulled the gloves off a bad motherfucker …and these hand weren’t made for baking bread, baby; they were made for killing” said the Hedgehog, by whose own account was a bad motherfucker that did his baking with a blade.

The multiply punctured Yorkshire Terrier retrieved the other steak knife from the tub, hopped over the edge, and began circling opposite the Hedgehog.

“You ain’t bad, Bristles, you ain’t nothing!” said the Terrier in a low growl.

Danny stood stunned in the corner clutching his bleeding ear-hole.

“Is everything o.k. in there” called Beth, from the kitchen.

***

Chapter Concluded in Part 6

See chapter 1 for the beginning of the story:  PART 1 and  PART 2 and PART 3 and PART 4 and PART 5