Beats Entropy

(See :Chapter 2 PART 1 and PART 2 for start of  this chapter, Continued in PART  4 and PART  5 )

Ripples of irritation waved through the Hedgehogs bristles; Danny’s end route with the Panda had put it at disadvantage for the first time in their relationship. He’d also been kicked in the head, repeatedly. The net effect left it off balance (figuratively and literally), watching the Panda investigate the apartment with Danny trailing dutifully behind.

“Uh…Panda, can I get you something to eat, or, something? There’s worms in the fridge” said Danny.

The Panda shot a disgusted look over its shoulder before ambling into the living room.

“He’s vegetarian, dipshit. Maybe if you got some fucking cable in here you’d know these things. And his name is Eustace, not Panda.”

Danny whirled on the mocking Hedgehog.

“You said animals didn’t have names!”

“I said Hedgehogs didn’t have names…you racist piece of shit. I didn’t say a goddamn thing about Pandas” said the Hedgehog.

“Yeah, you also said didn’t know him…so why should I believe anything that comes out of your ratty little mouth” Danny retorted.

The two held their ground, seething. The Hedgehog scrambled back up onto the counter to be nearer eye level.

“Look, I only lie to you when it’s for your own good; or I’m really tired; or I think it will be funny. But in this case….wait, what we were talking about?”.

Danny was unsure, but shouted for good measure.

“I don’t know! Probably…something about that Panda.”

The Hedgehog slumped a little, the tension having fizzed out of the room. Another player had entered the game, but he could handle this.

“Yeah, just give him some lettuce and apples or whatever. Be quick though, he’s hypoglycemic and we really don’t want his blood sugar to drop.”

Danny removed the vegetable crisper from the fridge, splashed some soysauce on the contents, and brought it into the living room. The Panda was sprawled across the entirety of his couch watching a documentary about WWII era biplanes, on public television. Danny settled into the arm chair beside it and let the surreality of the situation wash over him. The Hedgehog crouched on the arm of the sofa and began an intense whispering exchange with the Panda. Eustace nodded occasionally but never took his eyes from the television. Danny’s couch groaned under the weight.

“Can he talk” asked Danny, tired of being excluded from the conversation.

“Speak. Can he speak; And no, he cannot” said the hedgehog.

“Can he understand me?” asked Danny.

The Hedgehog shrugged.

“As much as anyone can”.

The Panda made a peculiar grunting Shuuusssshh and pointed at the T.V.

“It’s my fucking house” Danny mumbled, quietly, under his breath.

The Hedgehog froze in place, his tiny ears rotating like anti-aircraft radar.

“You expecting company, slick”

Danny sat up.

“No. Why?”

The doorbell rang twice.

“Hide motherfucker!” the Hedgehog shrieked at the alarmed Panda, who’d reared up on his hind legs and begun pawing the air like a punch drunk boxer.

Danny crawled to the door on all fours and peered through the gap at the bottom: a pair of woman’s shoes were visible. The owner of the shoes knocked three times, hard.

“Danny! Danny, it’s Beth…let me in. I can hear the television”.

The Hedgehog scurried across the room and crouched near Danny’s elbow.

“Who the fuck is Beth?” the Hedgehog whispered.

“My ex-girlfriend” Danny whispered back.

“You had a girlfriend? Like…an unpaid one? Man, I need to read your diary more carefully.” said the Hedgehog.

“Yeah…I’ve had a few. Don’t act so fucking surprised” said Danny, in a whisper loud enough it defeated the point.

“Who are you talking to” asked the owner of the shoes? “Open the door for Christ’s sakes! I need to talk to you.”

The Hedgehog waved its arms in a frantic negative, silently mouthing “No” as well as a creature without proper lips could. Danny stood up and peered through the peephole.

“Uh, hey Beth; this isn’t really a good time. I’m having some…plumbing problems.”

An exasperated sigh preceded Beth’s response.

“Can you at least open the door so I can give you your stuff? It’s freezing out here and I have plans.”

The Hedgehog planted his shoulder against the corner of door and dug his feet in. Danny shrugged and acquiesced to the owner of the shoes, opening the door halfway. A hopeful, involuntary, grin lit his face. A petite brunette handed him a milk crate full of belt buckles and stepped past him into his apartment, a small brown dog trotting behind her.

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Continued in Part 4

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See chapter 1 for the beginning of the story:  PART 1 and  PART 2 and PART 3 and PART 4 and PART 5