Bristles : Chapter 1;Part 3
April 21, 2009
(See PART 1 and PART 2 for the beginning of story. Continued in PART 4 )
Danny knelt, staring at the door, trying to make sense of the psychotic break he had clearly undergone. He considered the appropriateness of screaming. It seemed a little forced. He was unsettled, certainly, but more deeply uncomfortable than terrified. He let out a short, experimental,
“ahhhhhhhhhhh?”
Too much time had gone by; he felt stupid enough he tried to pass it off as a yawn. His nausea bubbled up again mid way through, splattering puke against his door. The Hedgehog dove behind a ruptured throw pillow to avoid the backsplash.
“Wow…classy. I’d ask you to lock it but I don’t want you shitting your pants in front of me”.
Danny rolled over to his back and willed himself to die. Heartbeat after heartbeat resisted a barrage of discouraging thoughts. It was going poorly. A persistent rustling sound penetrated Danny’s fog of humiliation. The hedgehog was unfolding a week old newspaper and laying the sheets over piles of vomit. He stopped at the half filled cross word section.
“You just filled in cocksucker like 15 times…except for here, where you wrote coxsukr because you didn’t have enough squares. I don’t know if it’s more pathetic that you were vandalizing your own crossword puzzle or that you were too lazy to finish the job? “
In his defense Danny had actually stolen that newspaper from his neighbor, so it wasn’t technically his property. Had he been in better sorts he likely would have offered the rebuttal, as it stood he just moaned and closed his eyes. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but he could at least pretend there wasn’t a hedgehog tidying his apartment. He could still hear it, though.
“Hey shit stain, you just gonna lay on the carpet all day?”
Danny refused to talk to it. If he didn’t talk to it, it wasn’t really there.
“You got a recyling bin? Or should I just drop this bloody glass off at the needle exchange box?”
Danny thumped his head against the floor to try and drown out the sounds of rodent industry.
” Hey…can you use toilet cleaner on wall paper? Cause I’m not going near that toilet, and we might as well use this for something”.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
“Why do you only have one prong on your vacuum cord? I’m going to try it anyways, but that can’t have been an accident”.
Mercifully, Danny’s brain relented and allowed itself to be pounded into unconsciousness.
***
CONTINUED IN PART 4
April 21, 2009 at 2:24 pm
““Why do you only have one prong on your vacuum cord? I’m going to try it anyways, but that can’t have been an accident”.”
I have no clue what is going on in this story, but there is something very appealing about the domestic hostility of that hedgehog.
April 21, 2009 at 7:13 pm
“Danny thumped his head against the floor to try and drown out the sounds of rodent industry.”
This is somehow the funniest and best things I have read in some time. Thank you.
I too lack any kind of instinctual understanding of where this is going or why but I am unquestionably along for the ride… That the hedgehog has been so abusive and vitriolic only to come and clean things… It’s like a brutal, abusively doting and judgmental mother-type energy is at work here made more palpable by the fact that hedgehogs have spines…
In fact, that is probably my favourite thing so far – the multiple layers and meaning of the title word “Bristles”… The verb, the noun… It all seems at play here… I await more.
April 23, 2009 at 11:45 am
The funny thing is, I actually know what that hedgehogs voice sounds like – and have had conversations with it.
Its strange to be aquainted with a fictional character in a real way. Very weird.
Love this one so far.
p.
April 23, 2009 at 12:47 pm
This story is awesome. I am so intrigued. It sounds like some of my own thoughts. Random and crazy!!
April 23, 2009 at 1:33 pm
“Its strange to be aquainted with a fictional character in a real way. Very weird.”
Good to see his past incarnation has not been forgotten. He’s yet to drop the N-bomb yet, but it’s coming. Thanks for reading, Phil.
April 23, 2009 at 1:34 pm
“I have no clue what is going on in this story, but there is something very appealing about the domestic hostility of that hedgehog.”
This will become slightly more clear next part…though no less strange.
April 23, 2009 at 1:35 pm
“In fact, that is probably my favourite thing so far – the multiple layers and meaning of the title word “Bristles”… The verb, the noun… It all seems at play here… I await more.”
You always catch the little touches, Sulya.
April 23, 2009 at 1:36 pm
“This story is awesome. I am so intrigued. It sounds like some of my own thoughts. Random and crazy!!”
Thank you very much, Mr Cow. This story is much more representative of my natural personality than much of the heavier stuff.