Happening/ Ain’t happening
June 7, 2007
It’s a complicated world my friends; and the zeitgeist is as elusive as it’s spectral suffix would imply. Nobody wants to be lame…but without the benefit of some sort of ginned up supercomputer you can’t possibly keep track of the ebb and flow of what’s truly Hhappening. So I figured “I’ve got the Arbitron 6500, why don’t I do a solid for my childrens and lay down what is, and what is not …at this point and time”.
Try not to be smug about being so in “the know”…I’m trying to keep the Arbitron 6500 on the down low, if you get my meaning.
| AIN’T HAPPENING | HAPPENING | |
| “I’m so hungry my stomach thinks my throat’s been cut.” | “Your stomach will be correct in its assumption if you don’t stop with the cliche hyberbole.” | |
| Stuffing two kids into a trench coat and presenting them as a very tall man in order to enter an area intended for adults (likely facilitated by use of fake moustache and stylish hat). | Stuffing four kids into the trunk of my car and teaching them the correct group formation to avoid injury from tumbling about when I hit the back roads (thus keeping their cross-border price high). | |
| Sunny skies and the joyously extravagant victory party I was going to throw in Mudville. | Chris Phillips scoring on his OWN fucking goal! | |
| Watching fat girls and midgets disgrace the art of music on American Idol. | The new season of “So you think you can Dance”. | |
| Ground-breaking epic poem I graced from the heavens while chasing the dragon’s tail | A fairly serious heroin habit. | |
| Ideological clash between fundamentalist Islam and the Great Satan America (Essentially sandstorms and dynamite). | Cold War V2.0., Baby. I see Russian oligarch financed, Mafia piloted battle Mechs clashing in the Rhineland with Gene master Trans-Aryan commandos. | |
| A group funded international initiative to establish a base on the moon. | Washing out my tub so my bones stop hurting after I take a bath. | |
June 7, 2007 at 12:10 pm
I don’t want to live in world where two kids in trench coat has gone out of vouge. Send the Trans Aryans by to take me out now.
June 7, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Why does your tub make your bones hurt?
June 7, 2007 at 12:18 pm
“Why does your tub make your bones hurt?”
I don’t know, and to be honest I’m afraid to find out.
June 7, 2007 at 12:18 pm
“I don’t want to live in world where two kids in trench coat has gone out of vouge.”
The classics will always live on in our hearts.
(unlike childred forgotten overnight in the trunk of a car)
June 7, 2007 at 12:36 pm
your columns are all up in your sidebar
‘ifs you knows whats I means’
June 7, 2007 at 1:24 pm
I fixed your pathetic display of using HTML tables, knave. Now go back to dealing with your code 7!!!
June 7, 2007 at 1:34 pm
but how could you turn a picture back into a table…HOW!!! This is blackest devil magic. Thank you though.
June 7, 2007 at 2:07 pm
“I fixed your pathetic display of using HTML tables, knave.”
That is very funny.
Till now I did not know there was anything the Valliant one could not do.
June 7, 2007 at 2:12 pm
“but how could you turn a picture back into a table…HOW!!”
hahahaha
I used the most subversive of telekinetic spells, called the “Qi’brr-urhd”
June 7, 2007 at 2:36 pm
“Till now I did not know there was anything the Valliant one could not do.”
In real life I’m fortunate to escape my bed without becoming irretrievably tangled in the sheets and suffocating in a mound of unwashed clothing. While the charm is all real, it’s a favorable internet haze that facilitates the Illusion of competence
June 7, 2007 at 2:42 pm
“In real life I’m fortunate to escape my bed without becoming irretrievably tangled in the sheets”
That is so subliminal.
Fresh.
June 7, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Max, you wouldnt find it so ’subliminal’ if you had ever seen him come crashing down, inextricably entangled in a web of bed sheets and bitter defeat.
… then again, maybe you would.
=)
June 7, 2007 at 4:02 pm
Tragically, I am easily distracted by male flesh tangled in bed sheets regardless of context. It is a fatal flaw.
June 7, 2007 at 10:13 pm
I have the same problem max :)
June 8, 2007 at 12:32 am
You too Alice? Damn. Another lost soul.
June 8, 2007 at 12:52 am
Damn, and I was looking forward to the Mudville blowout. Bummer.
June 8, 2007 at 2:19 am
It was Chris Phillips who scored… technically the score was:
Ottawa Senators: 2
Anaheim Ducks: 2
Ottawa Senators Defence Against Ray Emory: 4
June 8, 2007 at 7:49 am
“It was Chris Phillips who scored”
Quite right ,Sir.
I have unfairly slandered a toothless man.
The pain of that game blurred my wits.
June 8, 2007 at 9:14 am
So…hockey was still going then? I lost the will to live on after…no, it’s still to painful to relive. Suffice it to say CBC was removed from my bookmarks ages ago. I may just scrape my heart off the floor in time for preseason.
Though it’s poetic for me…being that Burke was stabbed through the heart by the city he ressurrected, and really managed the ultimate revenge. And Moen’s from a stones throw from my family farm, so that’s kinda cool…wow - that ramble could not be in a more inappropriate place (and yet I fail to delete. the mystery that is woman)
So…how ’bout that herion addiction?
June 8, 2007 at 9:54 am
Stuffing four kids into the trunk of my car and teaching them the correct group formation to avoid injury from tumbling about when I hit the back roads (thus keeping their cross-border price high).
LMAO
You are so wrong. Yet you are so right. You are so sweet. Yet you are so evil. How can one man be both?
Most people will think you are a big dick but don’t forget that
Confucius say
A Penis is the only thing that a woman hopes she will find hard to handle.
June 8, 2007 at 10:45 am
“How can one man be both?
Most people will think you are a big dick but don’t forget that ”
It’s just business, Baby. I do, what I go to do, to pay the rent. I figure those kids would just smuggle themselves across the border anyways, at least this way someone is a making a profit from it.
June 8, 2007 at 8:14 pm
“It’s just business, Baby.”
Hmm. That’s my excuse.
June 8, 2007 at 8:16 pm
I’ve been a long admirer of well intentioned indecency so I don’t fault you.
June 11, 2007 at 12:38 am
I miss Eng Tech.
June 11, 2007 at 8:54 am
Stuffing kids in a trunk is always funny. Classic. And classy. I applaud your bravado and extend the trembling hand of a sick, old man as congratulations on your web logging. Kudos to you, sir. Huzzah!
June 11, 2007 at 11:19 am
I’m out of smokes, haven’t slept, and my car won’t start.
I was going to start killing, but I read this instead.
AJ, you’ve just saved the life of 3 innocent men and a regulation sized ‘possum.
June 19, 2007 at 5:47 pm
AJ is the only person I know who had to get 37 stitches because of bedroom related injuries.
June 19, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Or was that falling up the stairs?
June 19, 2007 at 6:11 pm
“AJ is the only person I know who had to get 37 stitches because of bedroom related injuries.”
Wow. That must be one interesting bedroom.
You are back. Yay!