Beats Entropy turns a 105 000ish (Egocentric clip show)
March 22, 2007
I was originally quite opposed to having a Blog: I considered it a self indulgent medium for vapid, attention starved shut ins. I would likely have continued along that route had Engtech[1] not started one of his own, filling him with the zealotry of the newly converted. “nobody has to read it” he said, “it will give you place to practice your writing and get things off your chest”. His steady prodding, compounded by tales of his internet glory, wore me down enough that I relented.
My first post was originally intended to be pretty standard Blog fare; some insipid bit about having to wake up early to pay the rent. The thing is it was so boring my brain rebelled and churned out a bizarre accounting of how these Bee’s were hassling me for no reason. From there I stumbled around stylistically for a while: alternating between short burst of absurdist prose and surreal diary style entries about my daily life. The watershed moment of this period came with my brutally unfair attack upon a co-workers use of a helper dog. While my allegation proved false, it turned out fairly amusing and laid the ground work for the series about my office life. Things stayed prosey for a while, then I did my first pop culture style article, added Letter Day, and the kinda poignant essay style pieces. Engtech provided tremendous moral, promotional and technical support, Wormwood joined up…followed by Kenji…which led to them creating Passive Depressive, and the Beats Entropy collective really started to hum.
In honour of this momentous occasion I’m going to slack off and do the website equivalent of clip show of stuff I’ve written. If you’re feeling pretentious think of it as a annotated bibliographic journey through the authors catalogue. I’ll preface each one with general category then explain why it meets the stated criteria.
Biggest Mistake: Cartoons that angered and confused me
It began as a decent, if fairly uninspired one shot entry. As an off hand joke I claimed it was part one of five, got called on it, then decided to go through with it out of stubbornness. The next two parts were the most demanding, least fun, and generally most lifeless things I ever put up on the site. To compound my shame Engtech later discovered another site with a very similar take on the same subject…making me seem at best unoriginal, and at worst a plagiarist. Lesson learned: the internet does not need another site satirizing 80’s pop culture.
Best throw away entry: Ham
Written in ten minutes on my way out for the weekend, I just wanted a space filler so people wouldn’t think I had stopped updating. For some reason it struck a nerve and became the entry near strangers bring up the most when discussing their readership. I suspect my cats collusion with the Ham is it’s selling point.
Most fun to write: The Streets of old Laredo.
The one series that is an exact representation of my personal humour aesthetic; and perhaps telling: the least popular series by far. There are maybe five people that have read it all the way through, and about three that really enjoyed it. For some perverse reason I find it’s limited, but genuine appeal that much more rewarding.
Best written Post: Thirty years of cool chicks, good love, and bad judgement.
I wanted to write a Valentines Day themed post, and this was the closest to romantic that my ironic sensibilities would allow. It’s the best example of how my writing style has evolved from a very dense and verbose construction, to a more natural and concise flow that relies on arrangement over perspicacity to impart style. I’m confident enough in my ability now that I can par down the language and still feel impactful.
Most Popular Series: AJ Valliant Arbitrarily Ranks.
I really like the freedom this series gives to be as serious and thoughtful, or absurd and pointlessly inflammatory as I want. Strangers especially seem to dig it. The link goes to my favourite, and the most popular, “Nations that broke my heart” entry.
Best Poem: Things that could have been
Nobody but Esmeralda reads the poetry…but this really can’t get anymore self indulgent so what the hell.
Favourite Line: Either
“They gonna burn you down Tex. Burn you down like a kerosene women caught cheatin’ on the sun”
or
“The irony of writers is we are habitual liars who have backed into a perfect medium of disclosure”
The second one is a bittersweet recollection since the rest of the piece isn’t nearly as well written.
Most disturbed one shot character: Pawtucket
God I miss him.
March 22, 2007 at 4:04 pm
“I’m going to slack off and do the website”
Should that be “whack off”? We gorillas don’t need blogs to get things off our chests. Anything that can cling on to my chest after getting thumped deserves to be there.
March 22, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Oh Pawtucket !
I heard rumours he got on the wrong side of some Malaysian poachers.
March 22, 2007 at 4:11 pm
“Should that be “whack off”? “
There was certainly a strong element of intellectual masturbation to my post. Still I try to keep thing somewhat understated, so that would have been a little too on the nose.
“We gorillas don’t need blogs to get things off our chests”
I tired of you smug Gorillas hounding me! Don’t you think I wish I could pull down bamboo trees with one arm, and have my feet coveted as ash trays for wealthy Malaysian business men? Well I can’t. Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted hear?
March 22, 2007 at 4:15 pm
You say “self indulgent medium for vapid, attention starved shut ins” like that is a bad thing.
March 22, 2007 at 4:25 pm
“You say “self indulgent medium for vapid, attention starved shut ins” like that is a bad thing.”
It’s a value neutral judgement.
March 22, 2007 at 4:28 pm
You do not strike me as a value neutral guy.
March 22, 2007 at 4:35 pm
“You do not strike me as a value neutral guy.”
True; but my judgement and I aren’t really on speaking terms so there is minimal conflict.
March 22, 2007 at 6:09 pm
I heard rumours he got on the wrong side of some Malaysian poachers.
Take it from my tour of Thailand, there really is no wrong side to Malaysian poachers. They’re all lady boys at heart.
March 23, 2007 at 11:36 am
Hey, Guy, I read your poetry. I was especially moved by:
The best of them were broken; ragged and worn into anonymity.
Bearing heavy truths best learned in abstraction, ugly hope eroding maxims;
they shuffled back into the ceaseless world
As emphatically as the cliché can be delivered; please keep it up.
March 23, 2007 at 3:25 pm
I have to say I’ve really been enjoying the BE flow of passive depressive and AJ posts.
Less content, but it flows together much better.
March 23, 2007 at 3:30 pm
I just come here to admire EngTech’s cat.
March 23, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Thanks Gap, I appreciate that.
March 23, 2007 at 4:50 pm
@max: No, don’t build up his ego. He’s fat enough as it is!
March 23, 2007 at 5:27 pm
I cannot help it. He is too irresistable.
[You are irresistable too Valiant Guy, but the cat has snuggly fur.]
March 23, 2007 at 8:41 pm
“There are maybe five people that have read it all the way through, and about three that really enjoyed it.”
I happen to love that story/series…though I …have yet to read it all the way through:P
I also like that you’e struggled stylisticly. You’re writing has a very strong vibe, and that surprises me..though it likely shouldn’t. Gives one hope.
March 24, 2007 at 7:32 pm
Thanks B-Fat, both the props and the readership are appreciated.
March 26, 2007 at 9:30 am
I’m proud to say I read and enjoyed all of …Laredo. Except for the part where it looked like it was over, but the subsequent continuation more than made up for it.
Clearly, you should pander more to me.
March 28, 2007 at 1:03 am
baredfeetandteeth deserves the Beats Entropy medal of honour for her courageous infiltration into our corrupted minds, if such a thing existed.
March 28, 2007 at 8:51 am
“baredfeetandteeth deserves the Beats Entropy medal of honour for her courageous infiltration into our corrupted minds”
Yep, she’s definitely going to the Beats Entropy Hall of fame.