Beats Entropy

 See that, an animated picture of a naked old man hefting an axe. Totally gratuitous, not one goddamn reason I should post it, save my own crass enjoyment. I even blew it up a little so you could see the nuts swing on the down stroke. What kind of sleazy son of bitch would do something like that: a sleazy son of bitch with absolute editorial power.

That’s right folks, I just realized that I am nominally in charge of this site, and bound only by my suspect sense of decency. I don’t know what administrative oversight  let this happen, but I plan on riding this show Pony until bear traps or Thorazine laced pies bring me down.

 Maybe I should write a overwrought epic poem about the redemptive power of love, or maybe, I should pander to the lowest common denominators and laugh at the misery of others.

 I think I will: Here is a Gorilla pushing some dude down the stairs  

 Nothing redeeming about that, actually kind of cruel, but you can’t unsee it. Thanks to my petty whim you are all marginally worse people, yet I deny all accountability. Matter of fact, I think I will go in later on today and make it look like Dr. Entropic posted that. Ah yeah, I’m all chubbly with power, let me rub a little on my skin…feels like chocolate.

 Here are a few totally unsupported, possibly libel, and certainly irresponsible, statements of fact. Might all be lies, might all be true. Makes no difference to me.

Fact 1

Woodrow Wilson kept a live marmoset under his top hat, in order to unleash it against political opponents in tight debates. While frowned upon, the manuver was legal at the time, and played a large part in his ascension to the Presidency. It was not until ten years later, when Rep. Clive Cudgrove was mauled by his ten gallon hat full of Spruce Grouse, that the practice was totally outlawed.

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Fact 2

 The three gorges damn is composed mainly of the bones of Chinese disendents, mixed with the stored semen of Chairmen Mao. Amazingly this mixture, originally intended as a symbolic gesture, proved to be more than hundred times stronger than reinforced concrete. A discovery which trigged the oppression of Falun Gong, and created a black market demand for Chinese milkmaids willing to pleasure the reanimated corpse of the beloved leader.

Fact 3

For reasons Mars Incorporated refuses to divulge, only convicted pedophiles are allowed to participate in the manufacture of M&M’s. It is suspected they use the innocence they stole from children to give the candy coating it’s gleaming lacquer.  Also, a department store Santa is brutally beaten in front the peanut vat everyday, just for the hell of it. Sick fucks.  

I will finish with an obnoxiously colored Limerick

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I once knew this cruel monkey Pawtucket

If he saw a kitten ungaurded he’d pluck it

He’d choke off it’s speech

Just like peeling a peach

Then into my wheel barrow he’d chuck it