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How are doing today[1]?
Ariel
Concerned Stranger
I’m feeling a little off, to be honest. I don’t know if it was a water pressure issue, or the different angles of my ladies friends shower, but I couldn’t get my balls unsoapy this morning. And I’m not talking a light residue; I was surrounded by a frothy mankini that resisted all the standard abolutions. I almost gave myself a damn faucet enema, yet still my scrotum would not remit its soapy bounty. Vexing. Read the rest of this entry »
No PD
May 6, 2008
Hey guys,
Due to a crazy workload, there will be no Passive Depressive this week. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Kenji & Phil
Dear India: smarten the fuck up
May 1, 2008
They drop babies off a fifty foot building…for luck…and good health.
What is the rational here: You do something so brutally unthinkable off the bat, that things are bound, statistical speaking, to improve for the child? Or perhaps the inevitable brain damage they suffer gives them a sunny disposition…that could be mistaken for life long happiness. Or, more likely, the process (and the concrete) simply weeds out unlucky children from their more fortunate brethren. Darwin’s retarded step sister at work.
Passive Depressive #143
May 1, 2008
Passive Depressive #142
April 29, 2008
Letter Day 40: Letters n’ stuff
April 25, 2008
It’s too nice a day for intros. Let’s get down to business.
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“When is it appropriate to use a smiley (or emoticons in general)?
Joshua Filmore”
It is appropriate when you are:
-Posing as 13 year old to catch a child predator
-A child predator trying to disguise your real age
-(ironically) applying one, following a scathing personal assault on someone
Ie. I’m sorry god twisted your womb and made you barren in punishment for being such a bitch ;)
-High as shit
Passive Depressive #141
April 24, 2008
Passive Depressive #140
April 22, 2008
Angst and Basketball
April 21, 2008
I spent three and half hours, on a perfect Sunday afternoon, drafting an imaginary NBA team in a league I will likely never play in. The other twenty eight people that were supposed to be in the league no showed the draft, so it was just Rob and I talking trash, while a soulless computer hustled us into a series of bad decisions and interpersonal conflicts.
Passive Depressive #139
April 17, 2008
ASK B.E.: Baby names?
April 15, 2008
My wife and I are about to have our first child. While we are good people, we are not creative people. I do not want my child to be dammed by a bland name, or stigmatized by an lame or ill fitting one. Could you please help us suss this issue out, and come up with a suitable list of candidates.
Daniel Maitland,
Portland, Ore
You were right to come to us, Daniel: few factors shape a child destiny like poorly chosen name. There are a few factors to consider:
- Does the name, in and of it’s self, suck?
- Does the name set a unreasonable standard of cool to live up to?
- Is it gender appropriate?
- Is it French?
- Did you ever bang a crazy girl/guy that happened to have that name?
Let’s address these issues one by one, together, like a family.
*Note: I’m not going to rag on the really foreign ones: people from places without potable water already know their names are ridiculous, no need to rub it in.
******* Read the rest of this entry »
